By Dafe Ivwurie
“I noticed that your neighbour has moved out of the house”
“You mean Peter? Is he not your neighbour, too? I only discovered that two days ago when I ran into him at the cinema. I was complaining to him about the light situation and he looked blank and couldn’t say much”
“There was no way he would have known if he had not been staying at home. I don’t know what man would abandon his wife.”
“Bimpe, the way you are sounding, it looks like someday your husband might abandon you for always jumping into conclusions. Who told you he abandoned his wife?”
“I will pretend I did not hear that remark.”
“It’s true now. You just think a man will get up and leave his home, his wife and his property and take refuge in a peaceful place for no reason at all? And certainly Peter doesn’t look like he is psychologically disturbed to me, well not until I saw him at the cinema; he looked disturbed.”
“Ehen! Really?”
“Something to the effect that his wife is driving him round the bend and he just decided to move out before something dangerous happens.”
“Haha, that is bad.”
“Well, I don’t have details to give you if that is what you are waiting for. But I seriously think it is a wise decision to take all necessary precautions.”
“Men and their game. Abeg talk another matter. Are you sure he has not found a new lover and moved in with her?”
“Then the women should begin to examine themselves on why a man would go AWOL after just six months of marriage and abandon you.”
“Tam, you seem to suggest that people should just pack up a marriage because there is a minor misunderstanding.”
“Did you say minor, Bimpe? What is minor about someone you call your wife, your partner threatening to ruin you or poison you over whatever? You know me Bimpe, when a relationship is not working and simple issues are turning into a shouting competition it is best one of the parties involved packs out before you have a case in your hand. I think this marriage thing is just overrated. The church, the society and family want you to sit in an abusive relationship and expect it to work somehow.”
“It cannot be that bad now that they are not able to resolve their differences in an amicable way and move on. The thing is that you men just want to dominate always. You want to dictate always forgetting that a woman has her own opinion about how things should be done.”
“That is even a small matter. A woman can have her way a million times for all I care. But can you imagine Debbie slapping Peter?”
“Wow! That is, err... I don’t know what to say”
“It is good to see you speechless sometimes. What if he decided to teach her a good lesson that a wife is not supposed to lay her hands on her husband other than in a loving way?”
“That will be barbaric now Tamuno.”
“Ohoo. Really it will be barbaric, abi?”
“It takes a real man to walk away from a woman when he has been abused.”
“I agree with you but I also wish that women could be taught some lessons too when they won’t gag their tongues and launch into verbal assaults and throw expletives like they are going to be banned in a second.”
“I guess, I will agree with you on this one; walk away. Peter has handled the matter better than that ambassador that beat his wife. How can a man with that kind of position stoop as low as to beating his wife? That is really crass.”
“Have you read the man’s response to the accusation? Apparently there has been some kind of history of violence on the part of the woman from Nigeria to Tokyo to London and now to Nairobi. The woman’s violent behaviour does not know borders or respect diplomatic decorum and etiquette.”
“Did you expect that the man would just sit idly by and not present a story? I read it and I blame the man for inviting the woman back to his post in Kenya.”
“He was only trying to help her”
“More like he was trying to make himself look good in the eyes of the world. Remember, he married another wife at a point and that marriage did not last. He wanted a woman to fulfil a role and hold the office of a wife. Typical of an African man; marriage makes you feel responsible even if you do not act responsible. So it was a case of the devil you know better than the angel you do not.”
“Well, I guess you never know the devil. Brings us back to my point, flee from every appearance of evil.”
“You men always think you can tame a woman.”
“And we certainly won’t be thinking of taming if their acts are not so wild.”
“But do you think the woman is a gold digger?”
“Bimpe, I think every woman is a gold digger. It just depends on the tool they are digging with. But that is a subject for another day. The matter now is that people should not think an abusive relationship would go away. Our man in Nairobi obviously thought that giving that woman a status of prestige would solve the problem. The woman too should have just respected herself and continue to enjoy the perks till they go for another posting.”
“A man will never know what a woman wants.”
“My friend, Wole Oguntokun, said that much in his play, The Anatomy of a Woman. But while they are busy scheming, they should be careful not to drag the name of the country in the mud. They whole matter just looks like the script of a Nollywood movie, which I hear is very popular in Kenya.”
http://www.inlng.com/DailyIndependent/Article.aspx?id=35703&print=1
